do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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