Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize