he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
