no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
