using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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