Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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