i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
