Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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