pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
