Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
one might say we're banned from that church
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
