he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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