Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
