I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I FOUND THE LEGS
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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