When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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