I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
