i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
