What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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