You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
