Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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