the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize