And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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