Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
