We're facebook friends in real life
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
