Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
