Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
