Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
