i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
