hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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