Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
