Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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