If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
