I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
