Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
