My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
