Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
