So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
