Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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