i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
