Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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