You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
