alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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