these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
