Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
