Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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