matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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