I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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