sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
