i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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