So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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