thus making me awesome and them whores
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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