I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
