Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And then my night got REAL pukey
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
