idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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