quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
