Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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