Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
