Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
