i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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