There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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