just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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