Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
