That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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