Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
