That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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