i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
