some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
