There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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