just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
