I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize