How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
