I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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