There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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