I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
