As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have feelings that need drinking.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
